Happy Birthday to me! Oh, and 26 weeks!

I am currently at work on my 6th shift! Can I just say, never, never again? I remember the days when I was young living in Hawaii working 6 in a row every stretch. It was no problem. Oh those were the days....Now that I am 33 and with child, no thanks! The reason I had to do so many is because we leave for Colorado on Wednesday and I could not afford to take any vacation days. So, here I am on my birthday taking care of 2 little premies who earlier had given me quite a birthday present. Yes, an explosive poop each which got all in my finger nails! NASTY!! Anyway, without that it's a pretty good night. I am working with my favorite people and it's nights like these that make me feel so good that we decided to move back. I know I am where I belong!

We had a feast tonight for my big day. Pizza, fondu, cupcakes, chips, dips and more. Can you say heartburn? Speaking of.....had a dr's appt. today and I was discussing with her this pain that I have in my upper abdomen at times. It mostly occurs after I eat when I am working the night shift. She said that it is my stomach probably from eating too much at one time. I agreed. There are a lot of nights where I only have one chance to eat so I inhale (I mean eat) what I can. Of course she wrote me a script for some Nexium and told Michael to fill it ASAP before my potluck tonight at work. I smiled and said, "OK, thanks" but I will not be taking that crap. I will just learn to have some self control. This pain is not worth it. Oh and BTW I am tipping the scales at 134LB!!!! I have never weighed this much! 17 lb weight gain and counting. I am really still all baby though (fingers crossed).

I am feeling great otherwise. 5 more weeks of straight nights then it's off to dayshift, FINALLY!! I can't wait to have a normal schedule again. Jax is kicking and rolling around a lot. His kicks and punches are getting stronger but they aren't hurting yet. I have been reading the pregnancy book by Dr. Sears and have recently watched the movie "The Business of Being Born" and I am feeling extremely inspired. We start birthing classes on March 11th here at the hospital. Michael will also be going a Daddy boot camp, HA! He is very excited, so cute! I can tell he is becoming more excited about the baby and it's definitely becoming more real for him. He is constantly touching my belly and now he has started reading to him. Of course we are reading the "Baby Book" by Dr. Sears. This way Michael will learn a few things while reading to him.

Well, must go now because my little friend over here is calling me over. I think he has another birthday present for me! At least that's what it smells like! Hey, it's not my birthday anymore! WTH!?!?!

24 weeks! (viable)

We just got back from a weekend in SF visiting friends and family. It was fun to visit but every time we get back I swear I will never sleep in another bed besides my own again. I am in love with my organic, non-toxic, latex bed! It is also getting harder for me to sit in a car for 5-6 hours and then to not have quality sleep for a couple of days, UGHHH. We have another trip planned for the end of March but after that, I am done for awhile!

We had an eventful trip this weekend. We went to Michael's mom's new house which is 2 hours northeast of SF. It is a beautiful house! The fireplace is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. She honestly lives in the middle of nowhere and when you step outside the front door you feel like you are in Kansas! I am so happy for her! She deserves all of this and it is so great to see how happy she is! I can't wait to bring Jax up there. I can just see him running around, playing in the spa, tormenting the farm animals and just being a little boy in nature!

After a night in "the middle of nowhere" we headed to the city to visit some friends and to have dinner with the family for Chinese New Year. This was the first year that Michael and I had to "give" lycee (sp)? It's the red envelopes that have money in it. Until you are married, you always receive lycee. Once you are married, you no longer receive (except from the parents of coarse) but you give. I loved it! You sit in front of the room and all of the kids take their turn, get on their knees in front of us and say, oh, I am not going to even try to spell it.......Anyway, they say Happy New Year and something about being lucky with money. It was cool! The dinner was amazing as always and after dessert at Uncle Ching Choon's house we were gifted with a bunch of clothes for the baby that Janine (Michael's cousin) had used with her baby who is now 2 years old. Sweet!! I am so grateful. Next trip, we will be picking up some other toys and whatnots that she has no use for anymore! Woohoo!!

We made a couple of big purchases while we were in the city. We ordered the crib and all the bedding for Jax. That was exciting. We also decided that instead of buying some cheap crappy kid furniture for Jax, we will just have him use my current bedroom furniture. We need the extra storage anyway. Well, that means that Michael and I would need new bedroom furniture. Hee hee. So, we splurged on the bedroom set of my, I mean our dreams. It is beautiful! 100% bamboo in a dark finish (of course naturally darkened without the use of chemicals :). It arrives in 4 weeks and I can't wait. Now I just need to sell my motorcycle so that I can pay for it! I am sad to see "bluey" go but it's time. Was fun while it lasted but since I will have a newborn attached to my boob for the next year or so and then probably pregnant again, there is really no reason to keep it anymore! Maybe later on I'll get a Harley cruiser. Nah, I think I will always be a crotch rocket kinda girl! The other exciting purchase we made was a breast pump! Just happened to be on Craigslist and found a great deal on one that was hardly used and only a year old! They are super expensive so I was happy to get one reasonably priced and that is in great working condition. She also threw in some extras like bottles, storage bags, and breast pads! AWESOME!

Off to LA this weekend to see Makenzie in her first play! I can't wait to see it. I am so excited for her! We will spend the day and evening with the family and then off to Jen's for the night. Sunday we will have a super bowl party at Jen's new place with yummy chili and cornbread at my request! One of my cravings.

"Somebody had a good Christmas"

Yes, those were the words of the nurse at the doctor's office today as she was writing down my recent weight onto my chart. I couldn't believe it! I just about fell over. I have gained a whopping 8 lbs. in just 4 weeks. Dr. Ramos said it was fine since I really haven't gained much weight since I first got pregnant. But, 8lbs, c'mon! I think I need to lay off the burgers and fries for awhile and maybe the ice cream too!

Today's visit was uneventful. Chatted with my doc for awhile (mostly about work) and then she measured my belly for the first time. This is something that they do once you are 20 weeks. I am measuring right on at 22cm. Dr. Ramos is a bit concerned about my work schedule though. She thinks that I may be over doing it with the extra shifts and just night shift in general. After discussing my reasons for working all these shifts, I have decided that, well, it's just not worth it. I am so tired all of the time and it's becoming more difficult to stay up with these babies all night, especially lately since we are so busy. So, I have decided to take myself off a couple of extra shifts. Having extra money is not worth it if the outcome could possibly mean preterm labor and a very own preemie of my own! NO THANKS!!

22 weeks

Wow! 22 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast it has gone by. Michael reminded me today that we have only 18 weeks left (+ or- 2 weeks :)). I am just thinking about how fast 18 weeks came on the front end. I must say, I am starting to feel a bit nervous. I feel there is so much to do in terms of getting the other bedroom in order and registering for things that we will need. As of right now, we have absolutely NO room for Jaxon. Well not really, there is a boob and a bed but as for his clothes and his things, I don't know where we are going to put everything. I am really feeling the need to nest. Isn't it a bit early for this? I want to purge, clean and organize but I honestly have no time. I am working as much as I can trying to pick up some extra shifts since our census has popped up to 20 babies! Whoo hoo!! I know that sounds awful, but without them, I don't get paid or PTO accrual. Anyway, it just seems that I have had no time to spend at home. I maybe get a day off here or there but when you work nightshift that really isn't a day off. If I am not working we are either in SF or LA. After this long stretch we are heading up to SF for Chinese New Year, back for another stretch and down to LA to see Makenzie perform in her play. After that, back to work for a bunch, off to Colorado for a little R&R, back to work, down to LA to see Michael's sister and back to work after that! That brings me to the end of February! I often think to myself, why the hell am I working so much! Then I check myself. I have to! Not only do I need the money for the baby (his organic, natural, non-toxic bed and bedding are going to cost us almost $1500) but I also need to accrue paid time off. Unfortunately, I only started accruing at the beginning of December since I just started back at Cottage. So, with my regular shifts, I am looking at possibly an extra 2 weeks on top of the 6 weeks that the state gives you. Yes, that means that I will only have 8 weeks at home with my baby! I am devastated! I am trying to work on other options. I will probably end up taking a leave without pay. It sucks but my baby is worth it. There is no way I am going back to work after 8weeks!!

Ok, enough complaining. Now, about Jaxon "Jax". We had our big 20 week US last week (I was actually 20 +5). It was amazing! Dr. Soffici is the perinatologist in the SB area and does EVERYONE'S 20 week anatomy US. He is highly respected here and since I work with him on occasion I was delighted to see him. I didn't realize that this US would be in 3D. It was AWESOME! We got some great pictures and even got some footage on VHS. I was shaking so much during the US that it was embarrassing. I don't know if it was nerves or excitement. Since I am a NICU nurse I wanted him to tell me EVERYTHING that he was seeing. From the ventricles in the brain to bottoms of his feet. He said everything looked great. He was 13oz and in the 50th percentile. I was so relieved! I must say he is the cutest little fetus I have ever seen! It's crazy to think that I know exactly what he looks like right now. Our cut off here in the world of NICU is 22-23weeks for resuscitation so I have seen many 23 weekers. I can't believe I have one growing inside me right now. He is so active! It's so fun to feel him but honestly, lately, it can be a bit uncomfortable. He seems to like to rest on my bladder and when you are trying to sleep during the day, well, it can get a bit irritating. Also, every once in awhile I feel this extreme tightness on one side of my uterus and when I feel it, it feels like a hard round ball. I think it might be his head or his butt pushing up against me. I have to push him away b/c it is so uncomfortable! For the most part though, I am really enjoying being pregnant. I am almost sad that I only have 18 or so weeks left. I know, I know, I say that now.

Well, have to get back to my "other babies" right now. I am at work and I am taking care of a former 27 week twin who likes to set off her alarm constantly and another full termer that was born today and had a bit of a rough start. He was "down" as we say at birth with a heartrate of <60 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">resilient. I have seen lots of miracles. Can't wait to meet my little miracle!

I know, I know......I have been such a bad mama. I have not been updating my blog as I promised. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the 2nd visit to the OB which was 4 weeks and 2 days ago in which I was 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This was the one where we were going to see the heartbeat. I don't even know why we had the 2nd US. I guess I was just going with the flow and not even considering anything else. Well, we did see the heartbeat and while it was a beautiful sight it was quickly dampened by the words of my OB. She felt that it was a bit low, beating at 105 and that she would like to see it in the 180's. So, of course, I started freaking out! I almost threw up right there on the table. It's funny b/c my initial instinct was "180?, wow that seems kind of fast for an ebryo with a heart that just started ticking a couple of days ago." Later, I did some research and found out that a normal heartrate for a 6 week embryo is 90-100. Anyway, I continued to freak out and my doc knew it. She advised me to start taking progesterone to help support my placenta and increase vasodilation and she would check again in 2 weeks. She immediately saw the look on my face and realized that 2 weeks would be too long for someone who was about to have a panic attack right there on the table. So, she said she would check me again after the weekend to make me feel better. I agreed.

Then, I called my sister-in-law for some advice. She was questioning whether all this worry was necessary and asked me when I am alone and quiet with myself what is it that feels right to me. I told her that I had no idea what felt right at this point. It is such a struggle with me b/c I see the worst of EVERYTHING!! I was so confused. Should I take the progesterone? Should I have another US? Should I just do nothing and and be blissfully ignorant? Well, after doing some research, getting a 2nd opinion and having a discussion with my ever so calm, rational and wonderful husband, I decided to take the progesterone and not have that US to recheck the heartbeat. To make a long story short, after taking sometime to be quiet with myself and my thoughts, I decided to cancel the followup US and the 8 week checkup. It just feels so right and so good to just let it be. My body knows what to do. My OB was totally fine with it. I know now, that although she may be a little too cautious in my opinion, she really is just looking out for me. She really is a good doctor. I have the inside scoop here at work and everyone I talk to says that she is the best OB out of all of them. Trust me when I say that the labor and delivery nurses know. I have actually been to a couple of deliveries with her and I must say, I am impressed. I just need to be in control of all of this. I will listen to what she has to say but I will do what feels right for me and my baby.

So, boy, it sure was different when we saw her at our 10 week visit this past Thursday. I pretty much told her how this was appointment was going to go. She was great. I told her thanks but no thanks on the flu vaccine (due to the high mercury level) and she offered her opinion and then said "it's up to you, whatever you decide". Next she asked if we wanted to have all of the genetic screens done. Michael and I decided to forgo all of the screenings. There are just too many false positives and there is now way in hell I would ever get an amniocentesis. There is nothing different that we would do so what is the point of all the needless worry? She actually told me she wouldn't do it either. I then told her that I would like to see if we could hear the heartbeat with a doppler. She said we could try but at 10 weeks there would be a good chance that we probably wouldn't hear anything since the uterus doesn't rise out of the pelvis until after 12 weeks. Well, she put it on my belly and OMG the most amazing sound. Again, I hear this all of the time but I am telling you, it is so different when it is your baby. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh........there it was, my baby's heart ticking away at a rate of 176!!!! I couldn't believe it. Dr. Ramos was so surprised and I swear she was just as excited as we were. It was a beautiful moment. Michael had a smile from ear to ear.

Now, if I could just get past all the nausea and throwing up. I have been feeling like crap for the past couple of weeks. All I want to do is lay on the couch and sleep. Nothing sounds good to eat, except carbs. I used to eat so healthy but now all I want is toast, pasta, mashed potatoes, fruit and a burger every once in awhile. I can't wait until my palate comes back to normal. I have been so out of touch with everyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. Hopefully, in the next 2 weeks or so I will get back to my normal self. Otherwise, my husband may divorce me!

So, here I am all caught up for now. It is now Sunday 1:30 in the am and I am at work taking care of 2 babies that weigh barely 3 lbs. They are so cute! I am now 10 weeks, 4 days and feeling yucky. I will start to post some pics of the belly.

First Day Of Work

Well, I am officially back to work although, it was just orientation. It was a long and boring day. I had my labs drawn today before 8am and had been anxiously awaiting the results for the first half of orientation. It was awful. My stomach was in knots and I was fighting the waves of nausea once again. After lunch I received a message from my OB and the first words out of her mouth were, "Good News". Immediately, I was relieved. My levels look great and now we will just have a follow up ultrasound on Thursday. Phewww...........I feel so much bettter!

A week of visits

Today is the first day I have absolutely NOTHING to do and boy, I am going to take total advantage of it! My plan is to do just that.....NOTHING! I am currently laid up on the couch watching football with my hubby while fighting the waves of nausea and on and off "pinching, cramping, and burning down there". I am also having some more spotting which makes me feel a bit uneasy but I am trying my hardest to stay positive.

This week Jerry and his wife came down from SF for a couple of days. While it was a great time as it always is, it was definitely not the same. Our usual visits with each other consist of large amounts of alcohol being ingested (which usually is followed by an intense hangover the next day), and a at least a day of hiking. While Michael and everyone else were able to continue the usual ritual I was just sitting back and observing. Hey, I am not complaining here, but is it horrible of me to say that I could totally go for a shot of tequila right now? Anyway, we attempted to do one of our favorite hikes the other day but as I was hiking up and down, and hopping over some rocks, I thought to myself, is this worth it? I was just at the doctor's the other day with spotting and cramping and now I am here huffing and puffing while hearing the words of Dr. Ramos "Just take it easy for a bit, the less uterine activity the better". As hard as it was for me to turn around, I knew it was the right thing to do. I do not want to risk anything!

Yesterday was a great day. My brother and my nieces came up for a sleepover. As most of you know, those 2 little girls mean more to me than anything. They are just the most amazing little people that I have ever known and I am so grateful to have them in my life. It's honestly hard for me to imagine my life before them. The 2 of them were one of the main reasons we moved back to California. I just don't want to miss out on them growing up, since it is happening so fast! So, with all of that said, I was sort of nervous about telling them about the news. My concern was that they might feel that this would take me away from them. But, since this is big family news and they are my family, they have every right to know. Besides, I didn't want my dad opening his big mouth before I could tell them. So, after playing in my apartment, going to lunch, playing in the park, walking down the pier, going for ice cream, Michael and I told them we had something to tell them and then we showed them the ultrasound picture. Madison gasped and Makenzie looked a bit confused. I asked if they knew what it was and Madison said, "yes, it's a baby". I said, "do you know who's?". She replied, "the one in your belly". I said yes, and immediately the were excited. I was so relieved! I told them that this does not change anything and that I am still going to come down and visit and they will come up too. I was really surprised how excited they were. Madison said she would even babysit, only if it is a girl, of course. They both are determined to help me pick names, again, if it is a girl. That should be very interesting! It was so sweet. Makenzie looked up at me and said, "I can't believe you are going to be a mama and that Michael is going to be a daddy!" It was a great night. After showers and teeth brushing, the 4 of us played a game called "rat-a-tat-cat" which they loved. Then, we snuggled up in bed and after they fell asleep, I got a bump in my back from Makenzie's butt and that's when I said, "I'm outta here!" I was off to my organic king size bed! AHHHHHH....ZZZZ